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What the heck is Misandry?

Updated: Apr 6

Have you heard this word? I suggest this word describes a prevailing belief that has permeated Western culture. Furthermore the overused word "misogyny" has been used to eclipse the real agenda..


I have some authority to speak to this since in my twenties I was an avowed feminist and though my vocabulary did not include the term misandry, I assure you that my dialogue and overall mode of operandi (MO) were based upon that belief. I found men and masculinity repulsive to the point that I spelled women with a “y” so that I would not have to use the word ‘men’ when describing myself.


In this cultural narrative that has been thrust upon us about “misogyny” should we not also discuss the term “misandry?” Shouldn't we discuss all that has happened over the past fifty-plus years to thrust men into a corporate identity crisis? A crisis has caused them to gravitate to polar extremes while many others have been left in a sea of listlessness, unsure of how to express their masculinity.


As a young adult, I was unable to have a healthy relationship with guys because of my overall distrust of the entire male populace. My perspective of males was limited by a handful of experiences I had with teenage boys. For years after that, I unknowingly kept men at a distance. It is not an overstatement to say that for the most part, I hated all things male.


I’m old enough to be a young grandmother and my perspective has radically changed. My heart did not change overnight, but it did begin to open about twenty-eight years ago when I met the man who is now my husband. I had passing encounters with him at ecumenical prayer meetings or an annual conference in Boston. The man I accidentally got to know was a gentle 'man' who cared deeply about the world around him. Each time I encountered him I left humbled by his attitude about life. We knew each other in this casual way for almost eight years before we went out on a date.


Once we got a few details worked out, he proposed and I said yes. That is the briefest version I can tell you except to say that the morning he proposed I had a long conversation with God and told God I was “afraid” he was going to propose and I was most concerned that I would not “feel” all the things women were supposed to feel. Well – he did and I did and four months later on New Year’s Eve, we got married.


Ever since that night, I have fallen more and more in love with my husband and I’ve also been on a journey of falling in love with who God created men to be.

When a dirt-covered little boy hands me a wildflower, I am floored by how a young boy sees something beautiful and wants to share it with me. When I see men who love being fathers and building a family, I am humbled by the qualities that are in their masculine hearts as they provide and protect. When I see a four-year-old smitten by the beauty of a Disney actress dressed as Mary Poppins, I smile at how this little guy is stunned by feminine beauty, and though he’s too young to express what he feels, we can all see the power of attraction.


You see the marriage between a male and a female is beyond butterflies and romance. It is a mystery that is as human as it is divine. Our psyche, physiology, and every other -ology is so vastly different. I know this is not a new revelation., You may wonder what rock I've crawled out from under. It was a rock with the words “Misandry” written on it. I was blinded me from seeing the true beauty of who God created men to be.


For my part, I apologize to all men and I, along with many of my friends, would like to tell you that we need you to be the best version of who you’ve been created to be. Embrace your identity, don’t suppress the things we’ve told you are bad. Give flowers, open doors, protect, provide, and pray. Pray for yourselves and pray for us females so we will not be threatened or intimidated by your strength.


May we learn to trust you and to allow your strengths to complement our frailties. And in the same manner, may we women lift you and encourage you to become all you have the potential to be. Together we make a team. Together we can do many things to honor each other and recalibrate our culture.

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